Sunday, June 22, 2014

Our New Adventure

"Good luck on your new adventure!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that sentence in the last week. I am so grateful for the well wishes, but at the same time it's just a reminder of the end of a different adventure. When I moved to Provo 7 years ago I cried. I honestly thought it was the worst place in the world. The people were strange, everyone was Mormon, no one could drive normally, and worst of all, I didn't know anyone. If someone would have offered me a last minute option to switch colleges, I probably would have. I vowed to not stay any loner than I needed to. 4 years I told myself, then I'm graduating single, and off to medical school. My, how things have changed; and I wouldn't change them for the world. I met  amazing roommates who became my family, eventually met the man of my dreams, graduated, got married, worked for an amazing company, and gave birth to our precious boy. 

I feel humbled and blessed as I reflect on the past 7 years. I could have never predicted the events that unfolded on my "adventure," and all of them are better than I would have predicted for myself. I have felt the love and guiding hand of my Heavenly Father in my life. I have been brought to my knees in some of the deepest trials I have ever faced, and raised to stand in the triumph of successes I would have never dreamed possible.

As I look forward to our "new adventure" I have so many mixed emotions. I feel terrified, alone, inadequate, blessed, and sick to my stomach all at the same time. I'm nervous about finding new friends,  being a stay at home mom, becoming a "law school widow," moving to the big city, leaving familiarity, leaving family, being different, and being financially unstable. And the worst part is, I 100% know Washington, D.C. Is where we are supposed to be. Doors have opened in unexpected ways, and everything has fallen into place to make me know, without a doubt, our Father in Heaven's hand is in our lives, and we are meant to be in Washington, D.C. 

But somehow that doesn't take away any of my fears. I suppose it isn't meant to. The Lord doesn't bless us to take away fears, we are meant to step up to the plate and move forward with faith. Faith means stepping into the darkness and accepting whatever ground you land on. I know our "new adventure" will not be easy. In fact, I anticipate that just like living in Provo, I will have moments that bring me to my knees. But I know that also like living in Provo, we will be blessed beyond measure. Because that's what our Heavenly Father is in the business of, blessing us beyond measure.

To all the people who think we are incredibly crazy for living off of student loans for the next couple of years: we probably are. But a little crazy never hurt anyone. To the people who have told me they are jealous of the opportunity to go on a "new adventure": we all get to bloom where we are planted, and The Lord loves us the same no matter where we are. To my family and friends in Utah: life would never be the same without you, and that's why this is not goodbye. I have 1000 sq ft (which, let's be honest, is gigantic... Haha) in which I would love to host all of you- although maybe not ALL at the same time. 

So, here is to our new adventure. To starting over. To being better. To choosing to be happy. To thanking The Lord in the good times, and in the bad ones. To keeping old friends and making new ones. To getting lost in big cities. To being brave. To thanking The Lord for lettin us have the ride. But most of all, to moving forward with eyes of faith.